Least Punishment

"If you must punish a child (or a grownup), always use the least punishment which is effective."

If you have set up an atmosphere where children feel their best interests are supported, they seem to do the right things if you just ask them to, or if you explain why.

Punishment never enters the equation.

If, however, things have gotten off this idyllic track, and punishment seems necessary, you want to consider just how much (how little) will get the point across. Overdoing the punishment can generate resentment. The child no longer feels that his or her best interests are supported, and the result may be secrecy, rebellion, and self-destructive behavior. Whereas, when the "punishment fits the crime" people probably feel they deserve it, and may even be glad, eventually, that they were stopped.

People who were so mistreated as children that they cannot be stopped from antisocial behavior with mild punishments still should be subjected to "the least punishment which is effective." What it takes to be effective could be pretty harsh, of course...